DAN MCGIRT is the author of the Jason Cosmo fantasy adventure series, ... 407 × 604 - 50k - jpg blog.marketingtipsfora... | One of Marie-Antoinette's most cultured, charming and cosmopolitan friends ... 413 × 508 - 126k - jpg teaattrianon.blogspot.com | Sirius Satellite Radio Cosmo Radio welcomed Cosmo's 50 Hottest Bachelors of ... 478 × 321 - 96k - jpg orbitcast.com | The website was in need of a face lift and in collaboration with another ... 300 × 275 - 25k - jpg supint.com | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
http://www.popcrunch.com/wp-content/uploads/. at 10:51 PM 500 × 661 - 94k - jpg clipclip.org | You're a cosmopolitan! Your drink is made up of vodka, triple sec 469 × 373 - 27k - jpg old-oligarch.blogspot.com | ... is a vibrant cosmopolitan metropolis and, if you'll pardon the word, ... 304 × 295 - 29k - bmp daphneanson.blogspot.com | Studio Neat's Cosmonaut is probably a pun on the Russian space pen, ... 640 × 427 - 19k - jpg machash.com | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
... a biography of famed Cosmo editor Helen Gurley Brown (or HGB, ... 500 × 500 - 58k - jpg thegogettergirls.com | ... or in emails or when they make their model appear on a product page. 401 × 501 - 98k - jpg socialbusinesssandy.com | With this day and age of the net and e-books and audiobooks, the novelty of ... 504 × 378 - 58k - jpg chroniclesofvanity.com | Cosmopolitan Boulevard by Deep Focus for Cosmopolitan 350 × 230 - 52k - jpg mediapost.com | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
On the bustling, cosmopolitan streets of ... 620 × 388 - 54k - jpg atlasshrugs2000.typepa... | The two Cosmopolitan tower buildings are about ... 550 × 458 - 57k - jpg boardingarea.com | 3) How can you guarantee chic and cosmopolitan living 365 days of ... 2592 × 1936 - 870k - jpg wehatewords.wordpress.com | cosmo.jpg. Once I'm through admiring these magazines, they'll be made into ... 380 × 1422 - 244k - jpg uppercase.squarespace.com | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Today Gaborone is a vibrant cosmopolitan capital, and although small in size ... 480 × 360 - 39k - jpg article.wn.com | Apparently Cosmo thinks that, and they found bunch of dudes who obviously ... 500 × 447 - 45k - jpg letmeinyourspotlessmin... | How confusing it was to see the villain terrorist playing the role of the ... 600 × 450 - 57k - jpg airoots.org | My Piece of Sky: Memories of Child Sexual AbuseA Publishing project in Johannesburg, South Africa by Mariella Furrer · send message
|
Soft Science's Ancient Roots
Another spate of bleedingly obvious studies telling us that we find attractive women attractive has finally sent Null reporter, Scary Boots, over the edge. What is it with evolutionary psychology?
On the savannah, a primitive evolutionary psychologist gains status amongst his peers for confidently explaining Ug’s thrashing behaviour as a mating dance designed to emphasise his loose joints, muscle tone and flexibility. In gratefulness for this explanation, the tribe would reward the narrator with a greater portion of food.
By the time they discovered Ug was actually in his death throes, having succumbed to a fatal mamba bite, the tribe felt very bloody silly for having fallen for such pseudo-science, and to cover up their embarrassment began to enact similar mating dances to the one described.
But how does this impact our highly advanced shiny civilisation today? Research has shown that in times when funding is scarce, universities follow their primitive intuition and listen to evolutionary psychologists.
Entering into long-term relationships with soft-science researchers whose work is easily understood by the layman leads to frequent references in the press, thus ‘bigging up’ the institution. Particular interest is given to research departments who display secondary sexual characteristics, such as ‘The effect of breast size’ or ‘Do you find Marilyn Monroe attractive?’. As an auxiliary benefit, such studies are frequently cheap, requiring just enough outlay to photocopy some line drawings from ‘How to draw fashion models’, borrowed from the Young Adult section of the library, and distort them with Photoshop (a bit like this).
Previous work on the subject has hypothesised that this is a selection process evolved by funding bodies to select for the fittest, cheapest and most likely to be referenced in Marie Claire. The papers spawned by this reproduction will, according to Darwin’s theory of natural sexsellselection, be more viable for future referencing and cross pollination with other research groups to widen the meme pool, eventually producing offspring that will be able to command a 500-word article suitable for even the Metro, that bastion of hard-core scientific research.
If the current rate of population growth continues, every scientist will be an evolutionary psychologist by the year 2020.
Evolutionary psychology studies always conclude that Scary Boots is an unattractive hermaphrodite, due to being a woman with spatial awareness, numerical ability, muscles and no discernible waist. In spite of this, we at Null are extremely fond of her. More of Scary's ramblings:
- Ethical shopping - Inorganic is inacceptible!
- Space is a crazy place - The galactic sandwich
- Believe it or not - Astrology
- Hot Totty - Scary's Mate
Image: buycostumes.com
Share this